co. than I'm used to working for. All in all, I think I like it, though. Just like with any job, when I have a moment to breathe, means I have time to think. In between the craziness today my mind has been all over the place: maybe I should go visit a friend, then I go, no, you can’t afford that right now, to, maybe I should check out where some of my favorite acts are going to be this summer, and go there, to wow, if all goes well, I’ll be able to see next week w/out these ugly f’ing glasses, or contacts pasting to my eyes, to I’d like to write a song, to in another life, I know I married a song writer, and he played me music, while I lay with my head in his lap and we were on the front porch swing….to, oh crap, I forgot to do this, this, and that, busy, busy, busy, to I wonder if I like this job. Haha! World’s longest, worst sentence. Do you see how exhausting
it is to be me?
I came into work real early this morning to finish up my taxes. (Oh, so there’s another thought process today, hope I didn’t screw that up, to I wonder how long it will take to get my returns, to I’m sending a card today, too, wonder when that will get there?) So, I digress. I’m really just happy we didn’t have to
pay this year. And the plan for the $, although it’s not much, is to not touch it for a long, long time. Hope that’s a game we can win!
So, the title “feast or famine” doesn’t just apply to my job today. It applies to my eating habits of late, too. It seems like I’m just not eating at all, or I’m obsessed with shoveling just about anything into my mouth. Okay, I
have a good joke there, but I’m sure you came up with your own. I wish I could just slap the sh!t out of myself and correct my ways of thinking (or conscious acts of sabotage). The really terrible thing is that I know better. When I’m doing well (all the way around), I look back at me, and don’t recognize that person at all. I don’t know how someone could do that, purposefully to their body. I’ve just been super reckless lately, in a couple of ways, and I don’t know
Oh yes, I almost forgot to mention…my boss is home with her sick kids, and the school called yesterday to tell me Cal was sick and needed to come home. 1) I’m an hour away, 2) Which would leave nobody in this dept, 3) I’ve only been here 5 or 6 weeks, and I probably shouldn’t be taking off like that. So, thank God, it was super freaking windy yesterday, and Brian was down tower and able to get my call. Most of the time, he is unreachable during the day. He was able to get Cal, and he’s stayed home with him today. Phew….but then the guilt of the whole situation sneaks in….I should be there with him. But one of these
days, I will realize, I can’t do it all. I mean, who’s kidding who, I can’t even do parts of it, let alone do it well. I feel like my life is just a bunch of things done halfway, and that bugs the crap out of me. You know what I’m talking about….leaving the house to go to work, and the hubby and kids somehow managed to destroy it after I cleaned it last night….to knowing that Brian has to feed Junior, but he won’t bother to stick his epilepsy pills in anything, so Junior will eat around them. Even with me sticking them on pb bread, or in hot dogs, he sometimes gets around ‘em. The other ones he likes (they must taste like dog sh!t, if he likes them). I sometimes get the feeling Junior’s like an old cancer patient, acting like they’re taking their meds, so God will take them, and end the suffering. And other times I think, that dog still has the time of his life every day (even if it’s in much smaller doses).
Well, back to the grind.
Hope you’re having a great day.