the couple of weeks or so. Finally, last Friday I felt much, much better. I
finally get to return to work tomorrow (part time for the week). Ugh, what a few weeks this has been.
I've really taken a lot from this experience, though. It really was horrible. I hated the feeling of knowing I was slow in thinking, how terrible my memory was, getting caught on words, and my balance (along with other things). With Alzheimer's running in my family, it was a real eye opening experience.
It scares the shit out of me. As a result of the concussion, I really started to think about my health. I haven't been serious enough about that, as we all know. But this really shook me to the core. I quit drinking soda a few days after the accident. I haven't had one since. I really do think of it as poison. I've been making sure to get ground flax seed in my diet along with blueberries and other "brain foods." I haven't been eating all that great, but I've taken some really strong steps in my journey. I'm getting there.
Also, you know how I'm always beating the shit out of myself? I do it for just about everything but especially when it comes to my weight and looks. You know what? Fuck that. I'm not saying my insecurities have all just magically gone away, but in this moment, they are not on the front burner. For me, that's
huge. I want to be healthy. Of course I want to be thin, but I'm not worried about how other people look at me. I'm going on vacation on Friday (bad
timing, I know). And normally I would be freaking out about my weight (which is near my heaviest...ever) and worried about what my friends would think of me and their disgust. You know what? I really could give a fuck what they, or anyone else in NYC thinks. How's that? That makes me happy. All of this, and I'm down to 1 anxiety pill a day. I'm thinking I'll give the one up after the trip. I feel so good about this. I've been off of the antidepressants for a month now, too. Thank God.... I'm feeling so free!
I've rambled more than I planned today. Just wanted to let you all know I feel good.
I know I'm on the right path and for the right reasons.
Hope you all are having a wonderful day!