I did not do a good job of meal planning this week. The boys had me running ragged, and I was totally out of my element. I did not turn to fast food, though. I made it work. I made some really great decisions and some decisions to not eat, because there weren't any healthy options. There were a couple of days when I didn't eat as much as I should. This is a totally foreign concept to me. I felt hungry, a lot. If I prepared and filled up on the right stuff, I wouldn't have felt so hungry. I need to do better this next week.
I dropped good weight early in the week, but I haven't lost an ounce since Sunday morning. I was so excited when I weighed in on Sunday, thinking I would surely make it to the next ten. As it turned out, I was 3 ounces short of hitting that number. I was quite frustrated and took it pretty hard. In true Jen fashion, I dropped the F bomb many times. The gal I weigh in with then had to spend the rest of the session trying to talk me off the ledge. I did lose 2 pounds 2 ounces, which I know is good-just didn't feel good enough. I was excited to get to this next ten. It's been a while since I've been there. It was completely disappointing to have worked so hard only to fall short. I was pretty rattled when I left and wasn't sure if I could get past it today. A friend then made a comment about how we started this together. It took me back to October (but it feels like so much longer ago), and our meal trading. It made me realize just how far I've come, mentally and re-educating myself on food. I wish I could be writing tonight talking about making to that next ten today...and in one more pound would be fifty pounds since October....and 2 more pounds would be 80 overall...but I didn't quite hit those goals-but it's okay. If you were to tell me in October, I'd be down 49 pounds between then and March, I would be ecstatic. While, I am not as happy as I should be-I'll take it. I've earned this shit. There's a lot to be proud of.
This last couple of months have been really hard for me in some ways. I've gone through more than I could've ever saw coming, but I'm grateful that I didn't allow food to beat me, too. I feel beaten down in other ways, but right now, I'm beating food. I call that a victory.
Brian and Caleb are heading to Portland tomorrow. They will be gone until Tuesday. I'm thrilled they are able to get out there for Gram's 90th birthday. I wish Ryne and I could be there, too, but it's baseball season for Ryne. He would've missed 5 games. I've definitely been missing the shit out of friends and family lately. Not going on this trip, has really hammered that home, as well. My mom and sisters (along with a ton of other people) are going home to Alaska for the 4th of July. I hadn't really given much thought to going until the past couple of days. I've heard from some people who have been trying to talk me into going. I would not be thrilled about going up there alone, but that would really be the only option. Idk...I might be nuts, but I'm really thinking about it. Plus, I would get to see Caity's baby. It's killing me I haven't seen her yet. Boy, living out here just makes travel so tough. I wouldn't even be able to get to Wrangell in one day. Big sigh. We shall see.
I hope this Hump Day has treated you well. I know life isn't always easy, but it is what we make of it. I pray you're able to make it fucking awesome. You deserve it.
I'll leave you with a song I heard the other day. It brought me back and reminded me of my Mom liking this song. She was into country music, so it wasn't often she liked the same music as me. There are a few she liked, that still remind me of her. Anyway, I can't let anything Break my Stride. God love the 80's.