I think it’s abundantly clear to all that know me, that I don’t do stress well. I also don’t share it well. Brian can’t handle the sharing of stressful situations, and it just makes it worse for me. So, I’m trying to get the future planned out, and it’s eating at me. Caleb getting bullied at school is simply unacceptable. I hope they school is working on it (I do have an IEP mtg on Mon, so I’ll know much more then). Caleb is now not sharing any information, as he completely shut down once I talked to his teacher, and no longer wanted to go to school. I
can’t say that it’s a terrible school (it was the best in the area, which is how we ended up in the God forsaken tiny town). But they are ill equipped to handle a
child with Caleb’s needs. His needs are limited, so I think he just gets overlooked, which has always been my fear. He had such an awesome program back home. We need to find a school with a similar program (which will require a bigger city), which will probably require moving. Those services aren’t going to be anywhere within driving distance for Brian and I to work. So, the research begins. The stress of it all is taking its toll a bit on me. I am
4-0 for crying out loud, you’d think I’d know how to deal with my stresses better by now. It could be a million times worse, I tell myself that every single day. And then I just feel guiltier for having such stress about things that in
the grand scheme of things could be way, way worse. I don’t think the bullying is overly horrible, and it might not even be considered bullying. But when kids call Caleb names, and make fun of him, it’s completely unacceptable. I know I can’t control and protect him in every aspect of his life, but it’s certainly my responsibility to put him in the best possible position to have all things he deserves. And then I most definitely have to consider Ryne’s feelings about moving. He likes it here. That kid is super sensitive and another move will devastate him (unless it was to Vancouver, but that’s not going to happen). So, I’ve decided that we will take a family trip to Vancouver this summer. The
boys need to see their friends and family. Flying would be awfully spendy, esp. at a time, when we have to save for another possible move. So, we may have to drive. The thought of that drive (there and back) seriously makes me want to
puke. It’s a long f’ing way.
So, my focus today is not on my diet (which it should all be a total package), but it’s on taking care of my stress level. I know I was still feeling it this morning, as I was driving in. Whitney Houston’s version of I Will Always Love You came on the radio, and for the first time I truly appreciated how good it is. I always hated her version, b/c I never liked her. Plus, I was so partial to Dolly’s version, as she wrote it. Well, this version is so beautiful it almost made me tear up.
So, I can tell you that, if a WH song nearly made me tear up, I need to
take extra special care of myself today.
‘Cause that’s some B.S. right there J
Hope you guys all have an awesome day!