Well, it’s as certain as death and taxes: another Monday has rolled around. You can kind of feel it in the air that nobody wants to be here today. But I just keep thinking it’s a job: it’s what we grownups do.
Saturday was really a nice day. Long, but nice. I started off at 7 A.M. on a 2 hour drive to have my eyes checked. My eyes are doing great, and that’s always good to hear. I have another appt. in 6 months for my year follow up from the Lasik, but I think after that I’m free and clear. I certainly wasn’t looking forward to getting up that early, and most definitely wasn’t looking forward to the long drive each way. Once I actually got on the road, it was really nice, though. I enjoyed the time to myself. I jammed the P!nk c.d. the entire way. The gal is made of pure brilliance, I tell ya. It’s so nice when you’re in that zone of really enjoying music. It certainly made the drive go much more quickly than usual. I’d started the day with a smoothie, but I also brought an apple and some raw almonds for the trip. Thank God, because I was starving, and I was passing all those nasty fast food places. After my eye appt., I headed over to Davenport, IA, since I was so close. I hit the mall and Target and was able to get some of my shopping done. It’s always such a relief when I can write “done” next to a name, and highlight it on the spreadsheet. Anyway, I also
shopped for some fat pants for myself, while I was out. OMG… I freaking hate
shopping for clothes. I’m so particular, and I can never seem to find anything that fits me right, even in the fat girl stores. I wasn’t keen on the idea of buying new pants while losing weight, but I really needed them, even if they only fit for a couple of weeks or so. While shopping, I kept thinking maybe I do need to hit a big lottery. That way I can hire a personal shopper, ooh, or better yet, personal assistant. I really have no fashion sense, at all. I looked through my closet on Saturday and was really embarrassed about (1), the lack of clothes that fit and (2) how old they all are. Maybe once I hit a respectable weight, I can learn to have some sort of friendly relationship with clothing. Until then, I’m left to my own devices. And no….I did not buy Mom jeans!
When I got home, Brian took the boys out to get the tree, so again I was left with a little time to myself. My Aunt Clara called, while they were gone, and it was so very nice to talk to her. I haven’t talked to her in ages. She always makes sure to call every Christmas, though, when she’s getting out her Christmas decorations. I’ve given her lots of Snowman related items over the years, and she’s always so great about calling to tell me when she puts them out she thinks of me. Then she always talks about things that I can’t remember.
LOL. The woman has been through chemo, has some years on me, and still has a sharper mind than me. Good for her!
When Brian got home, it was time for us to get ready for his work Christmas party. It was so nice for us to actually have plans to do something with just the two of us. Again, while trying to figure out what to wear, I was so discouraged… Once we were finally ready, I felt good about us both. We looked sharp. I had Ryne take a picture of us, and Brian said it turned out well. I said, no it didn’t: I look fat. He said, “well,” but smartly didn’t follow it up with anything else, but I knew what was on his mind. It’s probably the first time he’s even come close to saying anything about my weight. It bummed me out, but I didn’t let it ruin anything, because it’s true. I am fat. That’s why I looked fat in the picture. Funny how that works, huh? (It's the pic at the top) We had a great time at the party, but I definitely ate too much. The party is held at a really nice Italian restaurant, and they really go all out. I held my drinking in check and was once again the responsible adult (ugh).
Sunday I woke up feeling crazy tired. I figured it was from waking up at 3-4 all week (including on Saturday), but I realized this was a feeling of beyond tired.
That’s when it really hit me: Ah, mofo PMS. I’d been craving chocolate the day before (which I hadn’t been, since I’d taken out the sugar), and I’d been having the pain in my side. Sunday was brutal….all day, just plain brutal. I could hardly eat I felt so sick to my stomach. I made sure to have a smoothie and some other healthy stuff, though. I knew I needed to get back on track
from the past couple of days and knew it would take all I had to combat the
PMS. So, now it’s the waiting game. You know that feeling…thinking it’s finally started and running to the bathroom every half an hour. Yep, it’s game
Even though I felt like dung yesterday, we still were able to get a lot of the decorating done. Brian actually did the tree with the boys. Usually I do it with them, but it was nice to have Brian involved. But let me tell you, I have no idea what kind of f’ing tree it is, but it’s got sharp ass needles. Plus, it’s way dry. It was totally brown underneath and needles came off everywhere when we brought it in the house. It’s going to look like Charlie Brown’s tree before Christmas arrives.
I hope this Monday find you feeling happy, healthy, and enjoying the countdown to the holidays.
6:30 Smoothie (water, flax seed, spinach, banana, frozen peaches)
7:45 Pure Leaf Unsweetened Iced Tea
10:00 1 Maple and brown sugar oatmeal pack w/ water.
12:20 Bowl of tomato bisque soup (see recipe), banana, and a can of soda water
2:20 2 Cutie oranges
6:00 2 small baked potatoes, added a tiny bit of cheese and some salsa, steamed brocoli, and cucumber
The song today is: Chaos and Piss from the new P!nk c.d. I love this song.
There are parts of this song that are me: Hey I also feel things more than I should
I don't relax very often, as often as I could
I thought that you were driving, but you've given me the wheel
There's rain clouds out there, that you don't wanna feel
Your anger's like a
razor blade, it's just too bloody real
I thought that you would be here, no I
just don't get it
Hey I also feel things more than I should
I don't relax
very often, as often as I could
I worry how the whole thing looks, it doesn't
But I thought that you would be here, no I just don't get it
being clear gets too much for me, just like it does for you
Even though I
want to, I want to, I don't
I don't feel like calming down, no I
I don't feel like hiding out, so I won't
I can't turn the volume
down, so I sit here in this
Chaos and piss, watching the storm passing
Storms are beautiful, right here it's beautiful
I came all this way to be
with you, and you're already gone
If I was a good friend, I could write this
I'd kick away your crutches, make you walk on your own
thought you'd be here, I just don't get it
Though it looks warm in the rabbit
hole, I could go down with you
Even though I want to, I want to, I won't
I don't feel like calming down, no I don't
I don't feel like hiding out,
so I won't
I can't turn the volume down, so I sit here in this
piss, watching the storm passing
I'm a willow tree, you
can't blow me over
And my roots go deep in anger
I wanna feel the wind as
it whips me like a prisoner
I wanna be here
I wanna be here
don't feel like calming down, no I don't
I don't feel like hiding out, so I
I can't turn the volume down, so I sit here in this
Chaos and piss,
watching the storm passing
Storms are beautiful, this life is beautiful