I got up at 4:25 a.m. to get ready for the race, only to find that Brian wasn't home, yet. My first thought of course, was dear Lord, something happened to him. Then, I thought maybe he had too much and decided to sleep it off. (His boss had a baby shower for Brian's work partner. He and his wife are due to have a baby girl in a few weeks). I'd wanted Brian to attend the party for a couple hours, and then have us all drive the 2 hours to Aurora and get a hotel room, so we wouldn't have to get the boys up so early. Anyway, Brian said he'd be out late, but he'd be raring to go for the 10k. So.... I text Brian's buddy, but didn't hear back. I kept calling Brian, but he wasn't answering. I was really starting to panic as time went on. Every terrible thought went through my head.... I wanted to go drive the 30+ miles to where Brian had been to make sure he wasn't in a ditch, but I didn't want to leave the boys alone, and even if I did wake them to take them with me, it'd scare the crap out of him to know that we were looking for daddy. Also, I had no idea where these guys actually lived. With each passing moment, I was getting more and more nervous, sick to my stomach, everything, but I also thought that he was probably sleeping right through the vibrate on his phone. The boys go up, and Cal was immediately upset that we weren't going to the race. I told them that Daddy had to stay out later than we thought. 6:45 rolled around, and I was just about to start driving the roads, when Brian came in. He was drenched (a storm had come in that morning). Brian had fallen asleep on his drive home, drove through a corn field, and ended up in a ditch.... He had walked about 10 miles to get home. He was completely freaking out and clearly seemed a little disoriented. I think he was still in shock, even after that walk. I took him to show me where the car was, so we could get a tow truck out there. We drove around for 2 hours, but we couldn't find it. Brian was clearly in shock, when he left the car, that he couldn't remember where it was. He knew he'd driven through corn and that it was fairly close to the station he works out of. He only knew that the car wasn't off the main road, and that he must've fallen asleep and ended up on the side road somehow. Anyway, I had plans in place for the boys, but I had to get back to them. Against my wishes, since he appeared to still be in shock, he then drove out to find it. He was able to locate a tow truck pulling it out of the ditch and talk to a police officer that was at the site and explain what happened. Brian's bruised up, and I'm sure he's going to be hurting a lot more tomorrow, but THANK GOD he's okay and didn't hurt anyone else. The car is filthy (pulled corn and stuff out of the front of it). The interior is filthy, although we aren't sure how. It's been one of the craziest days I've ever experience. I'm first of all grateful that it turned out alright, but I'm also pissed that he put himself in that position. The roads are so dark, and he shouldn't have been trying to drive home so late at night. So, although I know it's wrong, the only way I truly know how to cope is through food....I've eaten a shit load already and plan on eating shit the rest of the day. I'd rather do this, then break down in front of the boys (who have no idea what happened). btw Brian is very, very sorry for putting us all in that position. It's only by God's good grace that he is okay. I hope we can learn from this.... Anyway, back to my shitty diet. I really can't apologize for it today. It is what it is, and it'll probably get worse today. I only hope that I can get my shit together and move forward.
9:30 Took the boys to breakfast....2 egg omelet w/ cheese + sour cream and salsa. 2 slices of french toast, a little hashbrowns and some diet Pepsi.
12:00 20 oz PEPSI. This is the worst possible thing for me. It's my worst addiction and I've finally broken free of it. I hope I can put this behind me tomorrow.
2:00 Some frozen noodle thing we buy from Costco (has a little edamame, peas, etc). Total processed shit.
2:30 1 Vegan choc/oatmean/peanut butter cookie homemade but very fattening
3:00 some Ruffles w/ jalepeno/artichoke dip. Not too much, but shouldn't have had any....
4:30 2 small boxes of Raisin Bran w/ soy milk
6:00 handful of raw pecans
9:00 2 graham crackers
9:30 Watched Food Matters. Great documentary
11:00 Went to bed...and felt like dung...eating this way does it
9:30 Took the boys to breakfast....2 egg omelet w/ cheese + sour cream and salsa. 2 slices of french toast, a little hashbrowns and some diet Pepsi.
12:00 20 oz PEPSI. This is the worst possible thing for me. It's my worst addiction and I've finally broken free of it. I hope I can put this behind me tomorrow.
2:00 Some frozen noodle thing we buy from Costco (has a little edamame, peas, etc). Total processed shit.
2:30 1 Vegan choc/oatmean/peanut butter cookie homemade but very fattening
3:00 some Ruffles w/ jalepeno/artichoke dip. Not too much, but shouldn't have had any....
4:30 2 small boxes of Raisin Bran w/ soy milk
6:00 handful of raw pecans
9:00 2 graham crackers
9:30 Watched Food Matters. Great documentary
11:00 Went to bed...and felt like dung...eating this way does it
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