I sounded so positive this morning, didn't I? :) Shortly after writing that, I slept for 3 hours. The drool on the pillow kind of sleep. Once I woke up, I was a bit out of it for a few hours. I ate leftover fucking pizza. Then, I told myself, get your shit together, and I did what I know usually helps me when I'm in a bad place: I cleaned. I cleaned out our refrigerator (it was gross, another sign that I haven't been quite right the past month). I started cleaning it, and I knew it was helping and then bam...the tears. I'd clean a while. Sit and cry, and on and on. But hey, I made it through it. From there, I cleaned out bathtub. The tears stopped about then. Thank God. Then, it was off to get the boys. Brian got home early, and all I wanted to do, was go to sleep. But you know what, I drove my fat ass to the gym. I worked out hard. I did spin, knowing that it's dark in there, in case I decided to start bawling nobody would see. lol But thankfully, the worst of today was well behind me. The workout was great. It was my best spin class, yet. From there, I did full weights, and then went and picked up some things at Walmart. So, I'm quite proud of myself for distracting me from the craziness that sometime attacks me. It doesn't always work. Sometimes it's just too bad, but today was manageable. I go into tonight, feeling pretty good about how the day turned out, all things considered. I also go into tonight, praying this mofo'ing period hits. It's killing me!
I hope this post finds you all well. I know I'm terrible at keeping in touch sometimes, but just know, I think about you guys often.
All my love,
8:15 Smoothie (water, spinach, flax seed, blueberries, strawberries)
12:00 Nearly 3 pcs of pizza (cheese, green olives tomatoes) So not worth it...
7:00 Mixed steamed veggies and a salad (spinach, spring mix, and light honey mustard dressing)
8:30 Some pistachios