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Diariesofafatass.com

Day 42 Eve of the weigh in....

2/28/2012

1 Comment

 
I'm totally nervous about the weigh in tomorrow....in a bad way.  Not only do I have the sins of those few days, but I am pms'ing like a mother fucker.  I'm cramping, puffy, back hurts....all of it.  I'm getting the whole enchilada this month.  What bad timing.  Frick.

Can you believe it?  I'm still in a little recovery mode from the trip.  Well, maybe it's a combo of the dreaded Aunt Flow along w/ the trip.  Anyway, I'm beat.  I was really proud to get my Arc Trainer workout in today, though.  I needed that.

So, I wanted to share a couple of things about the trip that were really healing and freeing to me.  The first morning I was there, I took a walk along the Columbia River (about an hour, my only exercise the entire trip).  It was a crisp, but absolutely picture perfect morning.  Hopefully I'll remember to add a picture of it tomorrow.  Walking along the Columbia, is one of my all time favorite things to do.  It seems whenever Brian and I could get some time alone, that's what we'd do.  He loves it just as much as me.  I also truly treasure taking the walk alone.  I've walked out there when it's raining sideways and been happy.  The walk was just what I needed.  A way to remember what I love about "home", and the walk truly always makes me feel closer to God.  Really.  As anyone would, I had a few reservations about going "home", and the walk set me straight.  God set me straight.  It was the perfect way to start the trip.

I also went by our house.  I, of course, have not been there since we moved at the end of June.  I miss our house.  It's not anything fancy.  It needs a lot of work, but it was our home.  I really thought we would live out our days there.  The main reason we bought it was for the downstairs, and the freedom the boys would have once they got older, having friends over, watching movies, we planned on putting a pool table down there.  There is finally a buyer for the house, so I needed to check out what we still have there, etc.  Brian will probably fly home to take care of everything, when the time comes.   Anyway, the whole deal about the house and having to move has been tough on us.  I was prepared for tears, as I entered the house (a friend of mine is staying there now), but it was like walking into a stranger's home.  It didn't feel like my house anymore.  I think that's a good thing.  It's going to be easier for me to let it go.  I've lost my connection.  So, going to "my" house, was a very positive thing for me, even though it was far from what I expected.  It helped to bring me some.... closure.

Hey, you know what...40 doesn't feel so bad anymore.  I got a perfect card from the group that bought me the ticket, one of the things it says, is: "40 is when you deserve to celebrate yourself and take pride in your strengths without apologizing."  I like that.  I think I like 40.  What the fuck was all the whiny ass bitching I was doing about?  Crazy.

Food:
8:30  Smoothie  (Water, flax seed, spinach, banana, blueberries)
11:00  Bowl of cauliflower soup  (see recipe)
1:30  Taco Smell: Tostada (no cheese), and 2 bean burritos (no cheese, no onion)  What a fuck nut.
6:45  2 Morning Star "Chicken Nuggets"
7:30  Salad w/ Light Honey Mustard dressing (spinach, spring mix, raw carrots)

Exercise:
40 mins on the Arc Trainer (529 cals burned)
1 Comment
ABra
2/29/2012 08:32:17 am

My new favorite word: fuck nut

Reply



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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: [email protected]


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