So as you well know, because I've been yammering on about it forever now...I'm now 40. I did not take the actual birthday well.... I wanted to spend the day under the covers, crying. While, that was not a great idea, I certainly could have actually handled things better yesterday. I knew I needed to get out of this little town, if I wanted any sense of happiness throughout the day. So, off I went to see Pete Koch in Davenport, IA. Pete works at Red Robin (Yummm!), and I had my heart set on a veggie burger and salad. I'd been craving it forever. I arrive at RR only to find myself ordering the burger (very smartly, no cheese, onion straws, etc...everything on the side), along w/ FRIES! Not only did I have the fries that came with it, a while later, I had a REFILL. Now, I was feeling good, that I didn't have them with Ranch, which is how I really like them, but who's kidding who, that's fat girl talk. I was at RR for 4 or 5 hours...during that time, not only did I consume the burger and fries, I had a "light" vodka drink (low cal lemonade, etc), plus maybe 4 big beers...I think it was 4, but I wouldn't be shocked if it were 5....and nearly all of a mud pie (I think Pete had like 2 or 3 bites). Yes, I ate an entire mud pie, which is probably designed to feed 4... Unbelievable! So, I was out of control in every single way...eating, drinking, emotions... Not good....and certainly not smart...
So, once home, I decided to take a "nap" for a couple of hours or so. After that, I was really happy with myself...thinking that I found a way to make it through the whole day...then kicked in the massive headache...and the staying up half the night, b/c I can't quit thinking like my crazy ass self...and then the most restless night of sleep (Oh, and I also ate pistachios at like 9:30 p.m.) In reflection, just a stupid way to spend the day. I should've gone to the gym and then just splurged on a veggie sandwich from Subway. For crying out loud, I'm going on my trip tomorrow, and I've already totally gained weight...Yes, I wanted to hold myself accountable. In one day, I gained 1 lb. 7 oz. I work my ass off for a week to lose that sometimes. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid... Today, I will eat well, and work my ass off at the gym. I truly need to try to lose the sins of yesterday, along w/ the sins of my vacation....Oh dear God, am I afraid of this vacation. If I drink, I have no control, or want of control over my eating... But I'll focus on one day at a time. So, here's today:
8:30 Smoothie (water, flax seed, spinach, banana, mango)
11:30 Banana, Cutie Orange
3:00 Baked potato w/ Smart Balance Light, Salad (spring mix, spinach, light honey mustard dressing), edamame
4:30 Square of dark chocolate
7:00 Bowl of tomato bisque (see recipe) and roasted cauliflower and brussel sprouts
40 Mins on Arc Trainer (428 cals burned)