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Diariesofafatass.com

Day 18

2/4/2012

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One word describes today: tired.  I cried myself to sleep last night and then woke up around 4 something this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.  What happened to Eli is just so sad.  It was so very hard to hear Nealy so upset last night, and to know that my Mom was/is so devastated.

Today kept me very busy, though, as we had Cal's birthday party today.  It was good to be preoccupied, but I was pretty damn tired.  I actually got fairly creative for his party this year.  Usually I buy their cakes, but I didn't want to have to buy a cake from Walmart.  So, I did a double decker 13x9 cake, using 3 things of frosting (including one in the middle).  It actually turned out pretty good.  Cal was thrilled with it.  He wanted strawberry cake, without actual strawberries in it :)  I'm proud of myself for only taking 3 bites.  It was awfully tempting to bury myself in a huge chunk of cake.  Oh, and I also didn't have a cake platter, so I put birthday wrapping paper over a cookie sheet, and then put wax paper over the top to put the cake on.  Where the hell did this creativity come from?

The party went really well, despite only 4 kids coming, out of 26 invites.  Cal was really hoping for more of his classmates, but we're still the "new" people....  At least he enjoyed himself.  That's what matters most.

After the party, I ate lunch and took a 2 hour nap.  I woke up feeling a million times better.  I was able to call Mom, and she's doing better today, too.  It was good to hear, but I know there's going to be so much pain for so many...for the rest of their lives.  It really breaks my heart.  I was so much older, that I didn't know him near as well as my siblings (I'd just gone to college), but I hurt for all who knew him.  Please continue to keep the Marsh family in your prayers.  I truly appreciate it.

Food:
8:00  Smoothie (water, flax seed, spinach, blueberries, banana)
12:00  banana, soda water
1:30  3 bites or so of cake
2:30  Big salad (spring mix and spinach), topped w/ SW bean soup (see recipe), plus raw carrots
6:15  Baked potato w/ 1 tsp of Smart Balance Light, salad (spinach, spring mix w/ herbs, Light honey mustard dressing), steamed veggies: carrots, cauliflower, broccoli
7:45   Square of dark chocolate, and cup of green tea

Exercise:
NAFT
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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