The book has been on my mind pretty much non-stop. I'm just finishing my third edit, and I'm hoping to send it off to a content editor soon. It's crazy...this book has been such a big part of my life this past year. I can't even explain how protective I've been over it and the story. Only recently did I tell someone, in a nutshell, what it was about. I was physically shaking. I felt like I wasn't ready to let go of it. Recently my dear friend Lynn was asking me about it, as she has been so kindly doing for quite a while. We were having dinner, and I was finishing my second "big beer," when I asked if she wanted to read it.... She seemed very excited, and after I got home I quickly sent it off to her before I could change my mind. I knew there was still lots of editing to do, but I really did want feedback of the story. After all, I had never told anyone in any detail what it was about. Even when I was shaking, I only loosely gave plot details. Sending that thing off to Lynn felt like I was giving birth, and letting someone else hold my baby, when I wasn't ready to give it up...It really was truly hard.
Lynn sent me a very sweet text about the book when she finished the other night. We then followed up with an hour + phone conversation which only ended when her phone died. I tell you what. I could not have possibly picked a better person for the first read. Lynn made me feel so good about the book. I honestly believe she loved it. There were direct questions about certain things. She told me how angry she was when a certain thing happened and how it made her cry (which was the only part that made me cry, too.) She really just made me feel wonderful about the whole thing. It really was the biggest relief of my life. I had this fear that I would hear, "Boy, you really wasted a year, didn't ya." Not that she would ever say that, but it was still (and I'm sure some will think it was) in the back of my mind. I really am proud of the book. I love the characters and the story, along with how it all unfolds. It just is all so weird...I wrote a book. I'll probably have to self publish, but mother fucker...I actually did something I set out to do. This alone, gives me a sense of satisfaction that I don't know that I've ever had. It feels totally fucking awesome to allow myself to dream....It took me 42 years...but it seems all I do now is dream....and reach for it, in my own small way. Trust me folks... You'd be hard pressed to find someone with lower self esteem or anxiety issues.... If I can pursue me dreams, anyone can.
I hope this entry gives you food for thought. Is there something you've always wanted to do? Do it....treat yourself well, and do it. I'm so very glad I did.
Happy Weekend! Thank God for it.... Me and my red wine say, "Cheers!"