It's been two weeks since I've last had a soda. I eased into it the week before, by only drinking Diet Soda, which at times has been my favorite, but in the last year had not been. I'd told myself when I went to regular from diet that it was because diet is actually worse for you than regular soda (which is true), but it was really just an excuse to drink sugary goodness. I mean, if I were truly thinking about my health, I wouldn't have been drinking 60 oz or more a day of that shit. So, I spent a week drinking diet, which wasn't entirely enjoyable, but it still fed the habit. From there, it was cold turkey. Oh, that first week was not fun. I had a headache for an entire week. I even had a fucking dream about drinking a Pepsi. Addiction? Oh, yes. Fo' sho'. It's been a couple of weeks now, since I stopped, but I think about many times every single day. I miss it, but I'm so glad I quit. Within days of my last soda, the puffiness that was always in my hands went away. Just quitting soda did that. How crazy is that? I'd read an article about what cutting soda does to your body from day 1 through day 5, and it really was incredible. I physically feel better without that shit. Does this mean I quit caffeine? Hell no. I'm drinking unsweetened tea (I need one in the morning, so I still have that familiarity of starting my morning with a cold drink), and I usually have a hot tea in the afternoon. I don't really love tea all that much, but it's a nice alternative to water, which gets boring really quickly. For the past few weeks or so, I've also been much more aware of what I'm eating. If I eat a burger or something I really don't think I should, I have actual remorse for it. I pay attention to how bad I feel after I eat it. This is a far cry from mindless eating, and the depths of the thought process that was actually behind the mindless eating (I know...it doesn't make much sense what I just said, but eating like that is a choice...a choice to not love yourself...a choice to dwell on why people don't love you....blah, blah, blah, sad fucking shit). Anyway, I weighed myself a week and a half or so ago, and I was down a few pounds, which surprised me. It felt like it should be more at the time. I'd noticed little things in my body at that point. So, I haven't gotten on a scale since. I feel a lot better, and I don't need that number to sabotage my thinking. The fact of the matter is, in just this short span of a few weeks, my jeans are slipping. I'm having to pull them up several times a day. My underwear fit better. I'll take it. Despite whatever weight loss number I'm at right now, I know I'm losing. My coworker has commented on my hands a few times now, talking about how she can tell they're smaller. I love that. It makes me happy.
In the past few weeks, I've also started to take my fitbit seriously. For a long time, it was something that I never even looked at. I wore it everyday, thinking that was going to be the day that I'd start trying to get 10k steps in, but it never happened. And then...it did. I made myself get up one morning and go to the track at the gym, at 5 A.M. Now, I am the worlds worst morning person, so dragging my ass out of bed, was quite the feat. Thankfully, I'd told the bff I was going to do it, and when I thought about not getting up that morning...I thought about the text I'd surely be getting asking how the gym was. It was just enough to get me to do it. That same week, my coworker Steve got a pedometer, and we started to challenge one another. I'm a very competitive person, but really it's the friendliest competition I've ever had. I want us both to do well, and if I get my steps in and he still beats me, good for him. I really am pulling for us both. In the past few weeks, there have only been a few days that I haven't made 10k.I probably average around 11,500, with the highest being 14,500. I know these are just steps....that I could be doing so much more, but for me, these steps are huge. These steps force me to have an actual goal, to sacrifice things to make that goal, and every single day, I'm glad I have that goal. I love walking my dog. Jesse has also lost weight herself. She'd gotten fat right along with me. A bonus to walking her at the park, is that Caleb like to come with us. He spends half the time walking with us, and half the time playing on the playground. The boys sports schedules have been so nuts, that a lot of the time, we are cramming walks in where there really isn't time, or we walk in the dark. However it happens, I'm always thankful for it.
While things have been looking up, as far as weight loss goes, my work life has been a little stressful lately. Work has gotten really slow, and we had a huge layoff announcement on Mon. I'm thankful to still have a job, but it really hurts me to see so many people lose theirs. This isn't like a lot of layoffs I've seen through the years, where it's an excuse to get rid of nonperforming people or that sort of things, this hit really great employees. There isn't any one of those people, I would think would deserve to lose their job. When a company is forced to layoff that many people, this happens I guess...but it doesn't make it easier. It's really hard this happen to people I truly love, including a very good friend and Steve, who had been with the co. 19 years. This week has been terrible at work, a lot of people unsure of what's to come, etc. Next week is the last work week for those who were given their notice. It's sure to be another stressful week. I really wish things were different. I truly do.
I should get out and tackle the day. I just wanted you to know...there's hope here at diaries of a fat ass... I feel good. I'm overwhelmed when I think about how far I have to go, but I feel good in this moment. The steps I'm taking are in the right direction. It's been a long time since it's been this way. So, just know if you're having trouble taking that first step, you can do this. Trust me. If I can get going on this, anyone can. Really, I'm a mess. But I am my own mess...who is trying to be less messy. Go for it. Reclaim your life, reclaim your health. You're worth it. Happy Saturday.
I'll leave you with the song that has gone through my head all week at work...It's a good one.
Take care,
Jen
In the past few weeks, I've also started to take my fitbit seriously. For a long time, it was something that I never even looked at. I wore it everyday, thinking that was going to be the day that I'd start trying to get 10k steps in, but it never happened. And then...it did. I made myself get up one morning and go to the track at the gym, at 5 A.M. Now, I am the worlds worst morning person, so dragging my ass out of bed, was quite the feat. Thankfully, I'd told the bff I was going to do it, and when I thought about not getting up that morning...I thought about the text I'd surely be getting asking how the gym was. It was just enough to get me to do it. That same week, my coworker Steve got a pedometer, and we started to challenge one another. I'm a very competitive person, but really it's the friendliest competition I've ever had. I want us both to do well, and if I get my steps in and he still beats me, good for him. I really am pulling for us both. In the past few weeks, there have only been a few days that I haven't made 10k.I probably average around 11,500, with the highest being 14,500. I know these are just steps....that I could be doing so much more, but for me, these steps are huge. These steps force me to have an actual goal, to sacrifice things to make that goal, and every single day, I'm glad I have that goal. I love walking my dog. Jesse has also lost weight herself. She'd gotten fat right along with me. A bonus to walking her at the park, is that Caleb like to come with us. He spends half the time walking with us, and half the time playing on the playground. The boys sports schedules have been so nuts, that a lot of the time, we are cramming walks in where there really isn't time, or we walk in the dark. However it happens, I'm always thankful for it.
While things have been looking up, as far as weight loss goes, my work life has been a little stressful lately. Work has gotten really slow, and we had a huge layoff announcement on Mon. I'm thankful to still have a job, but it really hurts me to see so many people lose theirs. This isn't like a lot of layoffs I've seen through the years, where it's an excuse to get rid of nonperforming people or that sort of things, this hit really great employees. There isn't any one of those people, I would think would deserve to lose their job. When a company is forced to layoff that many people, this happens I guess...but it doesn't make it easier. It's really hard this happen to people I truly love, including a very good friend and Steve, who had been with the co. 19 years. This week has been terrible at work, a lot of people unsure of what's to come, etc. Next week is the last work week for those who were given their notice. It's sure to be another stressful week. I really wish things were different. I truly do.
I should get out and tackle the day. I just wanted you to know...there's hope here at diaries of a fat ass... I feel good. I'm overwhelmed when I think about how far I have to go, but I feel good in this moment. The steps I'm taking are in the right direction. It's been a long time since it's been this way. So, just know if you're having trouble taking that first step, you can do this. Trust me. If I can get going on this, anyone can. Really, I'm a mess. But I am my own mess...who is trying to be less messy. Go for it. Reclaim your life, reclaim your health. You're worth it. Happy Saturday.
I'll leave you with the song that has gone through my head all week at work...It's a good one.
Take care,
Jen
RSS Feed