The drawback is….he’s my boss’ son. Yes, you heard that right…. But for now, I’m just going to enjoy the fact that this week is far less hectic, and I feel like I can actually have time to breathe. Feels good.
Hopefully today we will find out more about Brian’s opportunity. So far, it all looks like a go… In a way, it’s a “be careful what you wish for” type of scenario. I’m very excited, but there’s a ton that goes with it, and lots of those dreaded grown up decisions. I hate those…and I hate that I’m always the one that seems to have to make them. But in this case, beggars can’t be choosers, and this will be best in the end, I believe. In the meantime, it’s driving me crazy
that it’s all taking this long. I obsess on things (bet you didn’t know that, did you ;). I’ve had way too much time to think about this. I’m waiting for everything to be decided, so I can move forward to the actual planning stages. I’m unable to make any other plans for the summer, until we get this all figured out. In the meantime, I’ll continue to buy my $2 lotto tickets. I want to travel in the worst way. There’s so many places that Brian and me haven’t seen, and it’s been far too long since we’ve been to Tahoe. I guess traveling will be the theme in my head today. It’s a fun game. Just think of all the places you’d love to go and imagine yourself there. I guarantee it’ll be better than sitting in an office, without windows, while the sun is shining outside. We’ve never been to
Hawaii. I think that would be first on our list. The boys would love it there, too. They’ve seen it enough on the Nick channel. Haha. I would love to take
Brian to New York, too. It’s so different than anything I’d ever experienced. I’d love for him to see it, too.
I saw myself in the mirror this morning. I mean, I really saw myself. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. It breaks my heart. It kills me, that I’m making it worse and not better. OMG… kills me. I have got to get this eating under control. I’ve definitely been a lot more active, but the eating and soda are at its worst. Laura and I went on an hour and a half hike on Sun. It
felt so good to be out there, being active, soaking in the fresh air. It totally kicked my ass, too, but that’s a good thing. Jesse loved it, too. I’m guessing she’s never had that much activity. She was dragging near the end. So, I’ve
got some pieces of getting back in shape in place, but the biggest is still my
downfall. I have got to pull my head out of my fat ass, plain and simple. I think my self-esteem is at an all-time low right now. I feel like I’m doing nothing right…..nothing. So, if I get the eating under control, hopefully it will bleed over into other areas of my life.
Speaking of Jesse: this morning she chewed up a bra and a bible. I know she’s just a pup, but somehow I would think even a dog would know not to f with a bible. I’m sure God will forgive her. She’s too cute, not to.
Have a wonderful day. Thinking about many of you today.
Oh, I heard this song this morning on my drive into work. I’ve heard this song a bajillion times, but it had been a while, and I loved re-recognizing the brilliance of Sheryl Crow and her lyrics. Feel free to sing along.
"If It Makes You Happy"
been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos,
And drank til I was thirsty again
We went searching through thrift store
Found Geronimo's rifle, Marilyn's shampoo
And Benny Goodman's
corset and pen
Well, o.k. I made this up
I promised you I'd never
If it makes you happy
It can't be that
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad
get down, real low down
You listen to Coltrane, derail your own train
Well who hasn't been there before?
I come round, around the hard way
Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread
And serve you french
Well, o.k. I still get stoned
I'm not the kind of girl
you'd take home
We've been far, far away from
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos
And everywhere in between
Well, o.k. we get along
So what if right now everything's