Checking back in

Sorry I've been off for a few days.  First, I'll update you on Junior.  The boy is still kicking :)  Yesterday, he had a fairly good day.  We aren't so naive to think that he's got a lot of time left, but we also feel that he still love life.  He doesn't seem to be in pain.  He's eating on and off.  By eating, I mean, actually some of his own food.  For several days it took some very creative things to get him to eat (blueberry pancakes, peanut butter bread, chips...)  I know these aren't healthy, but we were glad when he'd actually put something into his body.  Having this extra time with him has helped both Brian and I.  It's giving us some time to process everything.  We lost Sara in May, and that was very sudden.  The pain from the day of having to put her down....is something that still causes me to cry at night, every once in a while.  This time with Junior is truly a gift.  At the same time, our first concern is that we don't want to see him in pain.  If life seems unejoyable (not sure that's even a word) to him, we'll know it's time.  Thanks for thinking of us and not judging me for my reactions to my dog being sick.  I know some people don't get it, but Junior is part of our family.  It's easier for me to show my love and  emotion for my pets, than it is for me to show anyone else.

Tomorrow the journal will continue.  Trust me, you don't want to see the past several days worth.  It's truly been suicide by food.  The really funny thing is, I took myself off of Zoloft last week :)  It's okay.  I'm glad I'm going through the emotions and allowing myself to feel.  I need this.

Hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day holiday!