The question of the day: Is it better to give or receive? I know we’re supposed to say give, but do we always feel that way? Now, there are also different levels to this question.
Sex, for example, I’d be willing to say it’s better to receive. Not that I don’t enjoy making my husband happy, but come on….let’s be honest. Much better to receive :) In general, I’d say I much prefer to give. I absolutely love putting thought into gifts. I love that feeling when it gets mailed off, or when I keep checking to see if the flowers I ordered had been delivered, yet. I love finding what I think is the perfect card for someone. That kinda stuff makes my day.
But I also have that f’d up side of me that always seems to have “holiday
letdown.” You know, when you open that gift on Christmas, and for some reason you’re disappointed and you should just be so thankful that someone thought of you. Maybe it’s not what you asked for. Maybe it seems like they don’t know you. Maybe you get the vibe it was a re-gift. I hate that I get the holiday letdown sometimes. It’s so lame. But I work on it every Christmas and birthday. I prepare myself to be happy for whatever the day brings. And after how sick I got last Christmas day (spent the day in the E.R.); let’s hope that I go into the next holidays with the right attitude. Anyway, I mailed something off today. It is a little gift, but it brings me such joy. And of course, where I find joy, I must think of the other side of the coin for myself. Lol
What a crazy week it’s been at work. My boss has been out all week, with the unexpected illness of her father. Thanks to those, who kept Marie and her dad in your prayers. I’m glad to say that he’s doing much better. He may even get released from the hospital today. So, with Marie out, it’s been crazy busy. I really do like it like that, though. It makes me feel a sense of belonging. I’ve felt valuable, which is a feeling you want in whatever you do for a living.
This past week has also handed me some of the worst hormonal swings (by swings it was just bad to worse). It’s only been this past year that I’ve understood what ppl mean when they talk about being hormonal. But from bad usually comes good. And in a sense it did this week. I have a really bad habit of sabotaging good things in my life, by way of over thinking. I’ll talk myself right out of a good thing and into a bad thing. It’s what I do, but I’ve gotten way better about not doing that as much in recent years. So, in true Jen fashion I did a bad job of explaining something which didn’t go over well. On one hand I wish I hadn’t said anything, it really only came up because of a really shitty mood I was in. But on the other hand, I’m glad that I’m getting to a point where if something is on my mind, I’ll get it out, even if I know it might not be what they want to hear. In a way, I’ve learned to put myself first. So, I guess it can’t be all that bad. I’m learning to value myself enough to know that I’m worth it….even though I might not be easy. When people have my love and support, they have all of it. Some ppl might look at that as a negative, but I’m proud of who I am in that way. I’d do anything for those I care about. We are all different, but in my over thinking mind, it’s something I wouldn’t change about myself.
And he ain’t seen me crazy, yet….. Gotta love Miranda Lambert. When she comes on, I’ll turn it up every damn time. She also puts on a pretty good concert. Dracy and I saw her a couple of years ago. We thought she was
phenomenal. It might also be because Dracy is one of my favorite ppl to see shows with, though. We have a ball every time! (And we’re always 3 sheets to the wind!) Okay, I’ll get back on track. The parent teacher conferences went
really well last night. I’m so happy to say that Ryne brought his Art grade up from an F to a B-. He got an A on the project that was giving him such anxiety, and he got 100% on the final. I’m so glad for him. I hope he learned some
lessons about putting the effort in on classes that he doesn’t think require it,
though. It’s a good lesson to learn at a young age. He’s adjusting really well to the school, and all of his teachers really enjoy having him in their classes. Cal’s also went really well. He doesn’t know yet, but he did get a “C” in a class. I didn’t have the heart to break it to him last night. I’ll let him have that meltdown tomorrow morning, so that he can calm himself down with NASCAR later in the day. I’m proud of my boys for how well they’ve adjusted and their grades. I’ve been hard on myself for my parenting skills lately. It seems like I’m always riding Ryne’s ass about something. I’m such nag. He makes me
crazy. And I don’t always have the patience I need for Caleb, that’s for sure. I’ve been thinking a lot about the holes in my parenting skills lately. It’s my mission to give them my undivided attention this weekend. I want them to feel as loved as they are.
Last night was super busy, but it was a good night. Brian was able to get off in time to attend both of the conferences with me. He also wanted to watch Cal’s swim practice and was able to do that. While they were out, I had a nice little chat w/ H.P. I swear we are both frat boys at heart. We bust each other’s chops, but we also are so very protective of one another. If anyone ever were to say anything bad about me, that little gal would surely whoop some ass. We talk on the phone every couple of weeks or so (sometimes more, sometimes less). So, you would think that I’d be ready for the way she answers the phone (when she knows it’s me calling): “Hello, this is Kathy.” It’s like she’s getting a call from work. It catches me off guard everytime. And every time I come up
with some super smart ass story or remark. Last night, I said, this is Jennifer
Weekley Stefani. I said, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’ve remarried. She’s like really, I said, well yes, but it’s not valid in every state. But we did get married in Vermont over the weekend. H.P. asked if I was in love. I said, "what is love anyway? But she’s a great friend." Anyway, we’ll carry on with some dumb story every time like its fact. I love that. Oh yeah, Jesse just came on. Might have to make it the song of the day. I so love this song. One of my all-time faves. Anyway, H.P. always has a way of making my day. She says the nicest things. She dropped a couple of them last night, and it’s so natural and easy flowing from her. When we were saying goodbye, she said, “I want you to know I think of you every day.” That’s one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard. It’s also a great reminder that we have the power to make the ppl we care about feel good about themselves. Whether it is a simple phone call, text, card or whatever. I know I preach this stuff all the time, but I really believe in it. I just text Brian a random, “I love you.” I can see the smile on his
face now, or the wonder of what I’m up to. Lol Okay, I’ll get off my soap box now. I hope you all have a fantastic
say a prayer for me
Jesse's back in town, it won't be easy
Don't let him
Don't let him touch me
Don't let him please
Jesse, I won't cut fresh flowersfor you
Jesse, I won't make the wine
cold for you
Jesse, I won't change the sheets for you
I won't put on
I won't sit by the phone for
That he cut out my heart like a paper doll
Sally, tell me
How he set me up just to see me
quick come here
I won't tell a soul
Not even myself
Jesse, that you've
come back to me
My friends will all say "She's gone again'
But how can
anyone know what you are to me
That I'm in heave again because you've come
back to me - Oh Jessie!
always cut fresh flowers for you
Jesse, I'll always make the wine cold for
Jesse, I can easily change my mind about you
And put on cologne
sit by the phone for you
let's open the wine
And drink to the heart
Which has a will of it's
My friends, let's comfort them
They're feeling bad
They think I've
sunk so low
always cut fresh flowers for you
Jesse, I'll always make the wine cold for
Jesse, I will change the sheets for you
Put on cologne
And I will
wait by the phone for you - Oh Jesse!