Happy Saturday! Oh, I've waited all week to say those words. I don't know about you, but I start the weekend countdown on Monday. Imagine my week, as every single day last week...I kept thinking it was the day ahead. Yep, even Monday, I thought it was Tuesday. That's a special kind of denial, isn't it?! It's all been worth it, though. This morning has been nice and lazy. So lazy in fact, I wasn't even going to write. I've been caught up in House of Cards lately, and that's where I want to put all of my free time. Yeah, I've already seen two episodes this morning. But the call of writing broke me free from my newfound HOC addiction. How I love this time of morning when the house is still sleeping.
I'm so grateful to report that this weekend is so much better than the way I went into last weekend. That week before had been brutal, most notably Thursday and Friday. It was funny...as I was going through it, I kept thinking this feels just like PMS and the hormonal issues I have. I felt even more crazy knowing it wasn't hormones but just my crazy self. Come to find out...as I ended my week in my pill box and had to get in my birth control...yeah, it makes sense that it was hormones! It was right before my period would start (if I weren't on this 3 month birth control pill). The pill has been really helpful in helping to ward off the hormonal issues, but it has been a balanced attack. I've been out of my Evening Primrose for a few weeks now..which was stupid. I was hoping the pills would be enough, but clearly it isn't. The Evening Primrose really does help. Diet helps as well, and although I've been off the soda for a few months now-my eating habits have sucked. Here's where I sound all hippy dippy or whatever...but I've been forced to listen to my body lately when it comes to eating meat, especially red meat. I just didn't feel good after eating it, and I knew I needed to start the journey back to getting away from it. I don't know that I'm ready to go all the way again (although I've always allowed for seafood and eggs), but I knew I needed to take a step in that direction: especially on the heels of the terrible hormonal stuff. There are so many hormones in the meat we eat, that I think it really helps to fuck with my system. So, I promised Amy I wouldn't eat meat (except the seafood and eggs) for seven days. I'm doing it the way I started so many years ago...letting myself eat anything that first week, as long as there wasn't meat in the diet. Today is day 6. That's the longest I've gone in quite some time. I have to tell you, I do feel better. I would probably feel great, if it weren't for all of the other shit and dairy I've been eating. Tonight will be the hardest time to say no to meat, in that we're going to our good friends house tonight for pulled pork sandwiches. They slow cook it over 18 hours, and it really is phenomenal. I know I won't break, but I'll miss it tonight. I know I will. Hopefully, not eating it, will also make me feel like I have some sort of power over my own will. It's funny...since it's my own brain...but I feel so powerless and weak all the time. Making the decision to not eat meat this week, takes me back to something I like and miss about myself. The girl who cared more about the treatment of animals and her own health, than the convenience of eating meat. I miss her...I have to get back to her somehow. I'm not exactly sure of the approach I'll take come Monday (after my seven days), but I really want to build on this momentum.
As a mom, I'm always worried about the boys and what's going on in their lives. Actually, let me rephrase that...I over-worry about everything. One thing that I've always loved, is Ryne's ability to make friends. He has all sorts of friends, from all sorts of groups. I love that he's always having fun and doing something different with the guys. When it comes to Caleb, I've always worried about his ability to make and maintain friendships. It's totally understandable...I mean he was diagnosed with Autism at age two. Although he is a totally different kid, than his earlier years, the friendship thing has always been there. He's just different than most kids. It's not bad. I'm not saying that at all. It's just different. This summer has made all of the difference, though. The past few weeks have really been so much different than ever before. Caleb, who would prefer to stay indoors, has been going to the park every day. A newer friend of his starting coming over and asking is he wanted to go to the park. Now, they go every day. It's not only the one friend Cal plays with, he's playing with other kids as well. When I grew up, I was never, ever home. I played outside as late as I could every day. I've always wanted the same for the boys. I'm so very happy that Cal has this now. That he feels comfortable enough to be around other kids and play like this. Here's the real kicker...after the park last night, his friend called and asked him to spend the night. Before he even came home this morning, another Mom text and asked if Cal could spend the night with her son Jack tonight. I cannot tell you how full my heart is with all of these newer developments. I just can't even convey...how happy this makes my heart.
Last weekend, as I was still trying to recover from the really bad days, I went to the movies with a friend. The last thing I wanted to do was leave the house and be around someone. But I knew it would probably be good for me, and I was already starting to feel better. I knew it would be good for that friend, too: to just have a night of not having to think about anything. We had a couple of drinks before going to Bad Moms. Walking into the fairly full theater, it was quite obvious that we weren't the only ones rocking a nice buzz. The moviegoers were all ready...they came out looking for a good time and got it. It was such a great experience, not only how fucking funny the movie is on its own, but how everyone got into it. There was this bigger guy sitting to the left of me, and he was commentating the whole time. While annoying, I found it hilarious! So, I figured it is really a public service announcement to tell you to go out and see it. Go with your girlfriends (as I had heard how great it was from several friends who went on girls night), or go with your man. They'll love it, too. And hey, you might even end up giving them a "blowy" after such a great date night.
Enjoy your day! Hope you find something that makes you feel good about yourself and own it...whether it's not eating meat or taking time out for yourself to watch a little t.v. or get to the theater. Do something for you.
Jen
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