Happy Hump Day! It feels like it should be Friday, but I will take finally being on the downhill slide.
The last couple of weeks haven’t been an easy stretch. The weather (freaking Midwest…) has gotten to me. I’ve never gone through that many days of below zero weather in my life. I miss hiking in the worst way. Hopefully it will be nice enough to get out there this weekend. I’ve got all of this cold weather gear, but it was even too cold for that. Total bullshit.
My body has kinda been a little bitch lately. The plumbing quit working or works in a very different, awful day. After five days…yes, five days of no plumbing…I had to go to extremes to make things move. I don’t get it. I eat more fiber before 9 A.M. than most get all day. I’m consistent with it. One of the great rewards of changing my diet was having things be normal and regular, but in the last few months my body has resisted, until it stopped. Now it has no “normal.” I even missed a day of work last week, because I was in so much pain. I never call in sick. I hold onto my vacation days like nobody’s business. I think of each day as a 3-day weekend out of here. I’ve tried all sorts of things like magnesium supplements (been taking for months), drops of peppermint essential oil in water, etc. Nothing. I truly believe most things can be treated with diet. I have been good lately, even killing it…but if I look deep down…I’ve got to stop this Diet Coke. It’s probably the cause of all things evil.
From poop to my cycle…aren’t you glad you are reading this? I’m on day 16 of spotting. I know, I’m old as dirt, and those things happen – but I’m on the pill. It shouldn’t happen. Again, I have to figure this shit out (get it).
Enough whining about my body. I’ve had myself a little pity party lately, and that’s just stupid. I’m working hard on creating better energy within myself. I’ve been keeping myself busy doing things I love and surrounded by people I love. I just get to the point, where I wish it wasn’t always so much work to be in a great place. It should be easier, but this is me…and I change what I can.
I’m not one to ask for help. I often should, but I don’t. A few weeks ago, I reached out to a friend for support in my diet. I told her I needed a safe place to go (without judgment) where I could go when my demons get to me. She eagerly agreed and gave me all sorts of encouragement. She also suggested we start doing healthy meal swaps again (like we used to when we worked together). I provide lunch on Mondays and she on Wednesdays. I just finished her meal, and it was fantastic. It’s such a great way to learn new ideas. I get stuck in the rut of making the same things over and over. I haven’t had to lean on her in terms of talking things out, but just knowing she’s there – is really helpful. Try it :)
A new season of My 600-Pound Life recently started, and I’m so happy about it. I’d been watching the same episodes over and over. I still relate to people with that kind of weight than anyone else. I go through periods of seeing my weight loss, or like I have been lately – only seeing the fat. It helps me to watch people who think the same way I do about food. There isn’t much they’ve said that I haven’t been able to relate to. There’s also a new show, Family by the Ton, that I love as well. You really want them to succeed. They are such a likeable family. I watch them, and I know how much better, physically, it feels to have the weight off. It’s night and day to the existence I used to have.
My knee was giving me some big fits, but it is getting better. The workouts have been going well. I’ve also been able to double up my running. I now normally walk 200 meters and run 400, and so on. I feel stronger, but I’m also very aware – there’s only so much I can do at this point. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I feel so good about my progress and think about that all the time. The other day I even enjoyed a workout. WTF is that about? Ha… I get excited to be able to do things I once thought were impossible for me.
I must tell you this – I was chatting with a couple of new girls after boot camp (we were walking the track together), and we were bitching about having desk jobs and how hard it is to get the steps in, etc. They talked about a co-worker of theirs who doesn’t eat dinner until after she puts her kids to sleep. I explained, I couldn’t do that – that the food would stick to me and I’d gain weight eating late like that. One gal looks me up and down and says, “You look like you’ve always been tall and lean.” I nearly choked on my own spit. I don’t think of myself that way, but her observation really stuck with me.
I titled this blog, “Ask For Help”, meaning for anything. Most of us hate to do it, but life is often bigger than us. It’s so hard to see the forest through the trees sometimes (as someone put to me recently). Last week, we (WSU) lost our 21 year old quarterback to suicide. The next day, the lead singer of the Cranberries (reportedly) also took her own life. If you need help staying true to your diet, there are so many people who would be there if you’d let them. If you’re feeling down – don’t be afraid to reach out. You’re hearing this from someone who barely lets anyone in, so I get keeping things to yourself – but again, some things are bigger than us. Whatever it is – please just ask.
Alright….I’ll quit talking about such things, but it has stuck with me and felt important to me to say it.
I hope this week finds you well and on whatever path you’d like to take. If you’re wanting to change your diet or physical activity. Start today. Start small. Don’t wait until Monday. Just start.