mornings this week, and it’s in the building I work in. You want inside the mind of a food addict? Last week, when I knew I was going to have to start pulling my shit together, I thought about these breakfasts. I thought about the breakfasts over and over and how I might approach them. At first I was like, well I just can’t eat anything. I’ll have to lock myself in my office and ignore the smell and the sounds of people enjoying themselves. I then went to, WTF! I should be able to enjoy a nice breakfast without tearing myself up over it. Eat what you want! I finally settled on, have breakfast but be smart about it: no eggs. So, this morning I approached the table of course wanting everything, but I had my game face on. I took one
pancake and then was going to load up on the fruit. Panic set it. Where the fuck is the fruit? There’s always fruit! I hate this fucking
place. Don’t they want us to be healthy?! MOFO! I have to eat eggs.
Oh….eggs…. So, I took some scrambled eggs. Usually the managers are up there custom cooking what you want, but I came late (the last
time I was on time for anything was maybe when I was born). I found myself looking around for the syrup like a dumb ass. Up and down the table I looked. And then my social anxiety grabs a hold of me. Oh fuck! I’m going to have to go over to the table of people eating and ask where the syrup is like a blind mother fucker. I started walking with my tail between my legs and then saw the other table. Yes…the table that had drinks, syrup, and FRUIT! Ugh, but I’d already taken the eggs. Oh well. I made sure to grab some mixed fresh fruit, too. I stayed away from their drinks and brought my water bottle. I know this is day 2 of getting my fat ass in order, but I’m not going to let those fucking scrambled eggs ruin my day or how I feel about how I’m doing. I just need to remember how different today is from a week ago. I’m not chugging Pepsi and eating doughnuts like there will never be food again.
Yesterday ended up being pretty busy, as I knew it would be. As for most of us, weekdays are nuts. I had to work a little late, so I found myself flying to pick Ryne up for a makeup dentist appointment from last week (he’s had the flu), and once we were done there, I was racing to take Cal to swim practice. I need to be better about planning. I didn’t have time to make myself a real, healthy dinner, so I found myself scarfing down cereal before swim practice. We didn’t get home until 7:15, so then I end up feeding the family something unhealthy and microwavable. This weekend, I plan on making a meal list for the week and preparing as much as I can ahead of time. I know that’s going to be a big key to weight loss success. I also have a tough time eating as I’m running to appointment after appointment to practices. I knew this, and I ordered $80 worth of freaking raw nuts online last week, which should be here today (insert own joke here). It’s hard to find healthy things in the Midwest, let alone in the rural Midwest. So online ordering will be essential to making this work. For crying out loud, I ordered my nutritional yeast off of Amazon. LOL. Ah….small town stuff.
It was nice to end the day with a nice long phone convo with H.P. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel to have friends like her in my life. She’s a huge inspiration to me, and I thanked God for her in my prayers last night. Friends make the world go round, right?
Hope you’re all having a great day!
8:00 Work breakfast-scrambled eggs, pancake, and some fresh fruit
9:30 More fresh ruit