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Diariesofafatass.com

Angelina and Gwen

6/8/2012

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My plan yesterday was to try to go to bed around 6:00. I really was that tired.  I even tried but to no avail.  So, how does 6:00 turn into midnight so easily?  I even had a couple of beers (okay 3), which usually puts me right to sleep. 
Staying up late is one thing.  It’s the way my internal clock works, but I f’ing woke up at 3:15 and couldn’t get back to sleep. I tried and tried, until I finally decided to just get up and do some cleaning, and take a nice relaxing bath. Overall, I’m hanging in there fairly well, except for the fact that I’m starving….and I’ve been eating, and now I’ve just cracked open the heroin.  It’s true. Sleep effects ones diet in every way. I’ve got to get this under control. I simply cannot wait until we have our living situation under control.  I believe that’s what’s waking me up so early.

It’s another really pretty day in IL.  I think it’s supposed to hit mid to high 80’s today and then 90’s over the weekend.  When it’s nice out like this, it really does make that long ass drive so much more bearable. This morning, I cranked Alanis’ Acoustic Jagged Little Pill c.d.  I don’t know why I haven’t listened to
it in so long. That c.d. (along w/ the original) is probably in my top 3 albums of all time.  She’s such a brilliant songwriter.  Anyway, as music so often does, it took me back to an awesome place. Erin, aka Angelina, and I went to see that concert.  I was really worried that it was going to be too mellow for a concert (and my impending intoxication level), but it was positively phenomenal.  Jason Mraz opened up, and neither of us were big fans of his, but he put on such a great show.  He was so darn funny, and an amazing entertainer. 
I Won’t Give Up is currently my favorite song, but the video and an interview I recently saw him in, make me a little nervous.  He looks like he might be taking himself too seriously.  Anyway, I remember after his set, Erin and I continued to pound the drinks.  I can’t remember why, but I remember that Erin started to cry, while talking about something.  I remember being a total fish out of water, patting her on the back, and trying to be supportive, but I didn’t know what to do.  That’s back when I didn’t cry.  I think there were even years that went by without me shedding a tear.  Oh, my how times have changed.  But I got so stressed that I couldn’t console her, that I think I shed a tear or two. 
Leave it to the two of us, at a fantastic concert and getting so drunk that we are sitting out in the bar crying.  Haha. Awesome.  We did have a fantastic time,
though.  I think we went and did karaoke afterward.

This reminds me of something Brian was talking about the other day.  He said, thank God he didn’t party like he did when he was in his early 20’s, anymore. I thought about it, and said, if I do go out w/ my girls, we still party like we’re in our early 20’s (not teenage years though, that was pure craziness).  If anything, we’ve even stepped it up a bit in some ways.  He said, yeah, you’re right, you girls sure know how to have a good time.  I love that. If you ever see me start to grow up, just knock me upside the head.  Just like Erin always says to me when
we see old ppl at a bar, “I want that to be us.”  Me, too.  I want to always go out, and have a great time w/ my friends.  Who cares what jackasses we make of ourselves. It’s always a good time.  Damn…I miss that….  Ugh, I really need some friend time.  Oh, my cousin Jouni recently moved to Chicago, though.  I’m super stoked about that.  Hopefully I’ll be able to go see her in a couple of weeks. We always have a good time together.

Hope you all have an amazing weekend.  May the sun be shining wherever you
might be.

In keeping w/ the Alanis theme, here are the lyrics to Perfect.  If I could attach a song, though, it would’ve been the acoustic You Outta Know.  It takes a real
artist to make, “Does she go down on you in a theater?” sound classy to string
instruments.

Much Love,

Jen



"Perfect"


Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win
my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on
your face

Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure
up
And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up
How many
times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The
least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl
You've gotta try a
little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud

I'll
live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then
maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own
damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem...why are you
crying

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast
enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're
perfect

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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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