I had a really fantastic weekend. It started with my HR friend getting a really great job. We celebrated with friends, and I had a couple of beers for the first time in weeks. Mmmmm...beer. Not only that, I had the best martini of my life, pumpkin. It was like drinking a pumpkin pie. Through the night, I was aware of everything I ate or drank, and tried to make good choices (well, except the martini, but I don't regret that for a minute). The next morning a friend and I went hiking on a trail that has kicked my ass week after week, but I have loved it. This hike went really good, and I felt so strong, we did another 1 mile hike after we were done (total of 4+ miles). I certainly felt it in that hike. Later that day, I met up with an old co-worker/great friend and another friend of hers for a day trip to WI. There were so many laughs. Oh, how I miss seeing that woman all the time. Sunday was filled with some heavy cleaning before a friend came over for a walk and dinner. The walk was the same as the normal, at a park up the street from us. I felt my back giving me fits when I was walking up the street, but it wasn't overly terrible. By the time we finished the walk (only two miles), I could barely move. That's where I am today...I thought for a short time today it was getting better, but it doesn't feel that way now. This is the worst back pain I've ever had. I'm almost just shuffling my feet, but at least I can move. The only time it's not bothering me is when I'm laying down. Yesterday, it brought me really down. The pain caught up to me, and I was super crabby. I was really sad about not being able to move, as I've really come to love getting my steps in. Thankfully today, I woke up in better spirits. I really am taking it easy, although that's hard for me. Hoping this damn thing gets better soon. If I want to stay on track with my weight loss, moving will certainly help.
Speaking of weight loss, today was my weigh-in. I was a little nervous, as I drank more this weekend than I have during any other time since I started watching my calories. I was glad to be down 2.4 lbs again. More than any numbers, I was happy to buy a couple of pairs of new jeans yesterday. Pants that fit, what a novel idea! I was not in the mood to shop for clothing, when my friend called me as I was shuffling through Wal-Mart to tell me about a nearby store have a jeans sale. I got her hint (she has to see me everyday at work), and clumsily tried pants on with my bad back. I was much happier to get those pants, than I was for the number on the scale today. The scale...it's just still so tough for me...in fact, it's what therapy was spent on tonight. I don't usually go super deep in therapy. I use it primarily to talk about the things I hold inside, so I have a way to get them out. But tonight was work. Work toward understanding why I can't be happy about my numbers. If the numbers weren't good, Lord knows I would beat myself up over them. Anyway, I think there was some progress, but we know I'm a hot mess, and it will take a lot to work through it. I'll get there one day, though.
I should get to bed. I mean, 8:00 is quickly approaching. I'm telling you, this back is taking it out of me.
I hope your night is full of the things you love. I'll leave you with a song in honor of my jacked up back ;)
~Jen