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Diariesofafatass.com

A week in a day

5/8/2013

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Today felt like a week. Really, there were so many different compartments to today, that it just feels like a bunch of days all jumbled up into one.  The day of course started with work...work...work....  It was one of those mornings that where you feel like a hamster just running on the wheel.  Every time I'd start something, I'd be interrupted by something more important, or something the other person perceived to be the most important thing of the day.  Holy shit was I in a bad mood.  I didn't really try to hide it, either.  It's not like I took it out on anyone, but I certainly wasn't taking the time to be nice by saying hi or chatting with anyone.  The morning bled into a terrible Dr's appt.  You know the type of appointment, where you feel like you exhausted yourself, but nothing good comes out of it.  You know...like most Dr's  appointments.  It was then back to work.  Oh, but wait, there's a new development.  It's 9:06 P.M. and
my work friend that I do lotto with just called to tell me that in about 25 mins
we just might be splitting 225 million dollars. That's what I'm talking about! Anyway, the afternoon afforded me a little bit of opportunity to get off the hamster wheel and get a tiny percent of my work done.  It's only because I
backed out of a 2 hour long meeting 5 minutes before it was to begin. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get 2x the work done, while spending 1/3 of my time in meetings...  But oh well...  Work ended on a good note, with the signing of a contact which was beneficial to both parties, and me calling it a day after 9 hours.  A couple of us had planned on having a beer after work, as Brian was getting off early and taking Cal to swim practice.  Work BFF and a couple of
other coworkers came out and we had a couple of beers and played a game of
darts.  We were talking about music so Work BFF would play the songs I was talking about for the guys and suddenly I was throwing the best I thing I've ever thrown.  Our coworkers are much younger guys, so it was awesome that we were all on the same page about new music.  What rhymes with hug me?  I was only out about an hour and a half, but man alive it was nice.  This has not been my favorite week or so.  Anyway, it was just what the Dr.ordered.  Once I got home, Cal and I worked on his homework while Brian and Ryne went and threw the baseball around.  Ryne started a couple of weeks ago and Cal started yesterday. 'Tis the season!

After homework, I relaxed on the deck while the sun was  still out.  Yes, the sun.  It has been a beautiful couple of days outside.  Cal and I rocked out to
some Dixie Chicks.  I love how much he loves them!  And look at me...acting all grown up and stuff, waiting until Friday to buy the new Natalie Maines album.  Yes, I'm waiting for payday, like someone who actually spends their money wisely.  But anyway, it's so nice to sit outside and listen to good music.  Once we got the boys to bed, I got an email back about a dog that we are interested in adopting, wanting to set up an in home visit.  You know, adopting a child from a different country might be easier than adopting a pet.  Wow. The hoops one goes through are crazy. But I guess that's good.  I know I'm crazy, but not the kind of bad crazy.  I don't have confidence in many things in my life, but I'm pretty confident that I'm good for a pet.  And they are equally, if not more so, good for me. This bring us to now...  Ooh, 6 minutes before becoming a multi millionaire :) Everyone is in bed, and I'm enjoying some blue mountains while listening  to music and talking to myself via this blog. I mean, really...isn't that what a blog is?  Talking to oneself?  Since I seem to be incapable of
inspiring via this medium, I guess I'll use it for myself. Maybe I'll convince myself that I'm not as crazy, lazy, dumb, unmotivated, and undeserving as I feel on a minute by minute basis.  Just maybe ;)

Back to the Dixie Chicks.... I think I really just might be obsessed. Natalie Maines' voice sounds like home to me. Their lyrics are pure magic.  It could be something as powerful as Silent House (about Alzheimer's), Favorite Year (that lets you play magical games thinking about your youth), or Sin Wagon, and just how much it totally rocks.  How can a song completely driven by a line out of Grease not rock?  If this were another lifetime, and I found myself unmarried, with no children I think I would somehow find a living being a roadie for the Dixie Chicks (and Pink, No Doubt, Rolling Stone, etc., while the DCX is on one of their long hiatuses).  Really, I honestly think I could be happy doing that.  Yes, I know I can get bored anywhere, even during a concert.  But music really brings me as much happiness as I can possibly find outside of my
 immediate family.  I'm not at all saying I would trade my life in to be a roadie. I'm just saying in an alternate universe, I'd find another version of happiness.  How fitting, that as I'm writing about this, Who Knew? has come on Sirius.  I adore the video I took  during the concert.  It amazes me how taking that video on my phone would carry such a powerful performance.  Man, Pink is good.  I know you're good, I know you're good, I know you're real good.

So, there have been a dozen songs I've thought about for today, especially in my small amount of time out with my coworkers.  But it was my drive home, and a million times lately, that I have this same fantasy going through my head.  My fave 70's song recently has been Right Down the Line.  In my fantasy, Brian and I are out at a karaoke bar and he's singing me this song. He's singing it to me, like he's written it for me.  Like he loves me so much, the only way he can convince me of how much, is through song. LOL.  I know...but it's my fantasy. 
Brian would sooner die than go to a karaoke bar, let alone sing.  But, I like to picture it happening.  It's funny.  I've been obsessing on this song for a few months now, and recently an old coworker/friend proposed to his girlfriend, and he wrote the lyrics to this song on the chalkboard outside of the hotel room door to help him do it. How cool.  And I thought I was the only one that realized the brilliance of this song?  Haha.  It was probably song of the year of something in the 70's.  Anyway, I hope you all are having a fantastic night. 
I am.  If drinking a nice cold Coors Light, listening to music, and talking about myself is wrong: I don't want to be right.

Much Love,

Jen


Songwriters:
GERRY RAFFERTY



You
know I need your love, you got that hold over me
As long as I got your love,
you know that I'll never leave
When I wanted you to share my life, I had no
doubt in my mind
And it's been you, woman, right down the line.

I know
how much I lean on you, only you can see
The changes that I've been through
have left their mark on me
You've been as constant as the Northern Star, the
brightest light that shines
It's been you, woman, right down the line.


I just wanna say this is my way
Of telling you everything I could never
say before
Yeah this is my way of telling you that everyday I'm loving you
(so much more)

‘Cause you believed in me through my darkest night

Put something better inside of me, you brought me into the light
Threw away
all those crazy dreams, I put them all behind
And it was you, woman, right
down the line.

I just wanna say this is my way
Of telling you
everything I could never say before
Yeah this is my way of telling you that
everyday I'm loving you (so much more)

If I should doubt myself, if I'm
losing ground
I won't turn to someone else, they'd only let me down
When I
wanted you to share my life, I had no doubt in my mind
And it's been you,
woman, right down the line.

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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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