A Tale of Two Homes

Recently I said something about "home," and a friend asked which home I was referring to.  At first I was offended, thinking my only "home" is Wrangell, but then I realized I'd just referred to Washington as home.  It's funny.  I haven't lived in Wrangell, since I left for college 25 years ago.  In my heart, it will always be my real home, though.  Washington did become another home to me, though. It's where I spent all of my years post high school.  It's where I went to college,  met Brian, met some of my best friends, had two boys, got Junior and Sara, worked with amazing people and learned my profession, bought our first two homes, lived, laughed, loved, yada yada yada.  Lately I've been homesick in the biggest way and by home, I guess I mean a combination of the two places.  I haven't been to Wrangell since Caity's wedding, and it has been 14 months since I've had a social visit to Washington (although I wasn't able to make it to Vancouver). I'm seriously missing my family and friends.  I don't know...maybe it's the looming commitment of the new house.  The house that means we really live in Illinois (not my home).  There are a lot of things I like about living here....I love the school system the boys are in.  I love that it doesn't rain all the fucking time.  And I feel really blessed to know some of the people I know here.  Even in all of that, I guess the thing that freaks me out, is that I never see Illinois becoming my home.  I'll enjoy it while I'm here, but about once a week I count out the years to Cal's graduation in my head.  After I've done this, I think about how Ryne wants to go to college in Wisconsin, and if that happens, if I'd be able to leave the Midwest.  I like having an end date.  Now, everything could change.  Maybe we'll be here forever...but I just can't see or accept that.  But I guess for now, I'll try to feel good about the house we are buying. I'll feel good about the fact that  we are giving our boys some stability after these years of moves. When we told Cal we were buying the house, he said, "It will be my childhood home."  haha...  I don't look at it that way.  I think he had one, but the moves are most unfortunate that he won't have a real childhood house to think back on.  But all we can do is do the best we can for right now.  Right now, I'm adulating all over the fucking place.  I work at a job for the paycheck not love of what I do (but thankfully I really enjoy my coworkers) and I'm making these giant adult decisions at every turn, like switching from State Farm for my homeowners insurance, or this or that adult like thing.  I do these things, when really I want to do anything but these adult-ish things.  I'd love to go home, and let my Mom make me pepper steak, go up river with my friends-go back to the place I ran away from some 25 years ago.  Yes....homesick.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  I really am appreciating this beautiful crisp day in-Illinois.

Oh yeah, I took this picture from my friend, who is a realtor in Wrangell.  So, should you find yourself wanting to find a wonderful new home-I know someone who can help you ;)

~Jen