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Diariesofafatass.com

42 is the new 68

10/21/2014

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I've made the executive decision to not weigh myself tomorrow.  I'll weigh in next week, and it will be good.  I just don't know that I can deal with seeing a gain this week.  I've done poorly several days in a row, and I need to do better.  I will.

I'm not sure if I've said anything about how bad my knees have been hurting or not, but SOB it's been bad.  While I love how the running made me feel (mentally), as well as extending the walk to 4 miles a day.  My knees have been unforgiving, esp. the knee I had microfracture surgery on.  They hurt so bad, I took the weekend off of walking.  I had x-rays done today which show osteoarthritis in both fucking knees.  Mother fucker.  Really?!  I'm really frustrated, because I know people (older people....) with arthritis and it's a nightmare.  H.P. did say the greatest thing, though: "You've been peeing your pants for years.  Are you surprised about arthritis?"  Love it.  Thank God for good friends!   I'm giving myself today to be a big baby about it and feel sorry for myself.  Tomorrow I'll put on my big girl panties (Granny panties) and get over it.  On the 4th, I'm getting an injection on one knee, a week later, the other.  They really help my mother-in-law, so I've got my fingers crossed.  It would be so nice to be able to continue pushing myself physically.  I realize there may be more to my knee problems than arthritis, but hopefully that's the only thing....  The bottom line is, my knee problems are probably a result of this fat I carry around.  The Dr. will say it could be other things, but I know in my heart of hearts, if I were thin, I likely wouldn't have these issues. 

I've got to run the kiddo to practice.  Hope you're all having a great night!

Jen
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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