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Diariesofafatass.com

2=Good, 3=Bad

4/11/2012

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Sorry, I didn’t get the blog done yesterday.  I did track my food, but frankly I was completely exhausted by the time I got home, and didn’t have the heart for
it. So, I’ll tell you about Monday evening. I decided to try to finish off some of the Easter wine (you know, the awesome $10 bottle from Costco).  I hadn’t eaten enough that day, I know that.  However, I had 2 glasses of wine, and  barely felt a thing.  I thought  that was so weird.  So, I decided to have that third glass.  And let me tell you, I know that’s typically one glass too many (esp. since I pour a decent amt).  The kids were asleep, Brian was out in the living room watching baseball (I feel I’ve lost him now until Oct).  And bam….that third glass hit me upside the head.  Out of nowhere, I was lit up like a Christmas tree.  I was trying to play “Words,” and I just remember it all kind of jumbling together.  So, from there, I just welcomed the upcoming, uh, state of sleep, that I’d soon be in. That’s one thing about alcohol. It does allow me some decent sleep. That’s a dangerous thing, since I have such sleeping issues.  Anyway, I’d woken up at 4:30 that morning, and everything hit me at once, and I passed out a little after 10.  The next time I woke up it was 12:30.  Thankfully,
I was able to get back to sleep, until 4, at least.

As I mentioned earlier, I was pretty beat  yesterday.  I had therapy after
work, which is never easy. Overall, it was an anxiety, filled day.  I did have a much needed conversation with a friend after therapy, though. Anyway, once I got home, I had visions of getting to bed early.  Of course, it never happened.  I went to bed a little after 10 or so.  I woke up early, and thought it would be around 4, when I went to look at the clock. It was 12:45. MOFO!  I was so p’d. 
I was wide awake.  I laid there until 2:30, when I got up to do some laundry and fill the Britta pitchers. I then tried to sleep on the couch, desperate for anything to work.  I maybe managed an hour, before getting up at 5:30.  Today, I seriously have black eyes.  My boss said, it looks like I’ve been in a bar fight. 
No matter what, I’ve got to get this sleeping thing down tonight.

My eating this week is worlds apart from how it has been the past few weeks.  I
honestly haven’t eaten enough, though. So, I found myself starving today, and am now eating a poor choice from Subway.

Did I mention how damn tired I am....so my goal is to be in bed by 9:30...this gives me 45 mins. 

TTYT  Hope all is well w/ you all.

Food:
 6:30  Smoothie (water, spinach, banana, blueberries), Can of Diet Coke
 8:30  90 Cal Raisin Granola Bar
11:00  After discovery of the black eyes, 20 oz. Diet Dr. Pepper, which I’ve now
been sipping on the past hour and a half.
12:30 Foot long flatbread, egg whites, pepper jack cheese, tomatoes, spinach black olives.
6:00  Took the fam to dinner....  Sauted Jumbo Cajun shrimp, w/ baked potato, w/ little butter and tbs of sour cream....crappy iceburg lettuce salad w/ some sort of shitty low fat dressing, sunflower seeds, tomatoes, and black olives.
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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