who runs one of the leagues this morning, asking: 7 touchdowns. Is that good? haha. We went back and forth a few times, and he said, he'll just be happy when Peyton finally comes out of the closet. LMAO. He's always insisted Peyton was gay, and I'd completely forgotten about it. I always chalked it up to jealousy of my adoration for Peyton. All guys want to have that adoration, no matter who it's from. Holy shit can I get off track! Anyway, the
game was delayed a bit because of weather in Denver. Once the game finally got going, we had our own weather issues here in WA. Oh man alive, did it thunder, lightning, hail, rain, and blow. It was cray, cray! It lasted for hours. It
interrupted our t.v. quite a bit throughout the game. I took Jesse to the vet earlier, and we got to see some of the debris around town. Once we got home, I
did some bills, then I got to some heavy cleaning. I got the dusting done, vacuuming (I hate doing floors), kitchen cleaned, etc. I finally got done not too
long ago. I sat down to notice the dog prints all over the floor throughout the living room, halls, and my bedroom. There is mud everywhere. Sooooo... It looks like I've got to buy a carpet cleaner tomorrow. Ours broke with the move. What a paragraph: from Peyton to mud. I've never claimed to be smart ; )
Lately things have been pretty good, but for whatever reason I've still found myself on this up and down rollercoaster of emotions. It's so damn frustrating! But I will say that I know how blessed I am. We are blessed to be back in this area of the country. We are blessed to have a strong family that love one another. I'm blessed to have decent health, even though I've trashed this body of mine. I'm blessed by the friendships in my life. Not a day seems to go by, when I don't hear from at least one friend. I know I'm not much of an instigator of keeping in touch anymore, but I know people care about me. I think I'll always be a little surprised by this, because I know that...well, I'm
me. I'm kind of all over the place sometimes. But thankfully, I've chosen the right people, for me, to love in this lifetime. That being said, it doesn't mean that all relationships stay the same. Many have grown throughout the years, while some have changed in other ways. I can't say that I really know how I feel about changes when it means you don't seem to mean as much to someone, or maybe they don't mean as much to you as time goes by. I know I'm not
saying this right. I guess once someone means a lot to me, they always will. If I'm one thing, I'm loyal. But when things change in my life, which can be a totally natural thing, I'll find ways to blame myself. I always have. But at this stage of my life...for crying out loud I'm 41 years old, I think I've found a way to give myself a break. I'm far from perfect, but if I care about you, I'll do anything for you. So, with this being up and down, I found myself down the other night. You know what you shouldn't do when you're feeling unsure of yourself or feeling rejected? As a woman, you should never watch Beaches.
lmao. Wow. That movie kicked my fucking ass. It got me from the beginning, as I feel that maybe I'm incapable of such a relationship, and of course just the overall content of the movie, had my sobbing. I can't watch Beaches, Steel Magnolias, Fried Green Tomatoes, Boys on the Side, Terms of Endearment, or
the Notebook without bawling. It doesn't matter where it is in the movie. The tears are gonna come and be raw. It was a draining night, but thankfully I woke up the next day feeling fine.
If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know my memory is pretty damn bad. Now, I haven't even told Brian what I'm about to say....I don't think it has much to do with the memory but more to do with the fact that I wasn't paying any attention to what I was doing. Our mailbox is in a row of boxes just down the street a bit. I hadn't checked it in a few days, so there was a ton of mail, and I was looking down, going through my mail as I walked back to the house. I was still looking at the mail, when I went to open the front door, only it was locked. I thought, wtf...I swear I didn't lock it. I then looked down, and I saw there was a different decoration near the door, and for a split second, I thought: how weird, our landlord changed the....then I looked over and saw my house. Yes, I was trying to walk into the wrong fucking house!!!!! Their vehicle was even in the driveway. I don't know if they saw me do it, but I confess I was mortified! Hopefully this isn't part of my mind going, or my concussions. I pray it was just because I was too distracted. ugh!
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I've got to take the boys into Yakima (Brian is on call and can't go) to get some additional shopping for school and football done. Holy moly, I am so burnt out on driving. I'm not looking forward to do it. But I can't bitch about spending some quality time with my boys. As for
tonight, I think I'm going to relax with some wine.
I can't remember the last time I poured myself a glass of wine at
Cheers to you my friends,