Speaking of Chocolate... I'll update you on the Ice Cream Club. 2/3 of us have been going strong! The girls have been doing good, while I have not... I do have to say that I'm doing better than I have, though. I've been looking at labels, I've made some organic meals, I've had several meatless days, I went a week with only Diet soda...but really there have been more fails than successes. My period got the best of me, and I haven't been able to really get my shit together since. But as always, it's at the forefront of my brain. One of our members had her one year Cross Fit anniversary yesterday. She loves it so much, and she credits it with making her much happier. I can vouch for this. She's been injured lately and hadn't been able to workout much. She's doing much better now, and the light in her turns up, when she's actually able to workout. It's so nice to see this. She's working hard on getting me to move, too. I just have to do it. I do...
In one week, my age goes up another year. I've been thinking a lot about this, this past week. I don't know why, but 44 seems so much bigger than 43, like monumentally bigger. So, while the number freaks me out, I'm excited for a change. 43 has been a tough year in a lot of ways. In fact, it has been one of the toughest years I've ever had. I'm working through it and in fact, working on doing more than just getting through it--working on thriving. Most days I do, but there are moments-too many moments, that take me down. The other night I had three martinis with co-workers after work. They were delicious. It was fun, and then it just hits me...that feeling of sadness, that feeling of needing to leave. I hate that. I can't tell you how much I hate it when I get his with this shit. It's fucking bullshit. It's embarrassing to even say these things happen. It sucks that I seem to have no control over this stuff. But I recognize it at least, and when this happens, I know just to leave and not let it get the better of me in front of people. The good news is, it's been getting better...they are shorter in time. It didn't ruin my weekend. It didn't even steal my whole night. So, maybe this next year, will mean, they hardly ever happen, and when anxiety hits me, it will be over in the blink of an eye. I know, I'm just talking about the bad things, when my life is really, really great in so many ways. But I don't need to write that stuff out, that's not stuff I need to work on. That stuff is always close to my heart. It's this other stuff, that writing about helps me. And I know from experience from writing about this stuff, and hearing from some of you, that it helps us feel like we aren't the only ones in the world that go through this. Here's hoping our anxiety continues to get better...and now that we understand it and the triggers better, we'll get better all the way around.
In honor of the Ice Cream Club (ICC as I've just now decided it can be referred to as), I'll leave you with this Sarah M song. The last time I saw her in concerts, was shortly before we moved back out here. I may have had a bottle of wine in me, and my friend Tami, while enjoying the concert, probably didn't love it as much as me. I've seen Sarah many times, so I kept telling her, get ready, get ready for the sing-a-long. To me, it's the best. So, feel free to join Sarah near that end, when she asks you to-it's like magic. It's a long way down to the place where we started from.
Happy Sunday and Caleb's birthday party day!