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Diariesofafatass.com

Checking in, in more than one way.

9/20/2011

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Okay, okay, okay....I started this thing, I need to get my head back in the game.  There have been a couple of things that have thrown me for a loop, but I'm trying to keep my head on straight and back to what matters, my health (emotionally and physically).  I wish I dealt with things better than I do...  If something throws me off, it all just kind of snowballs from there.  I can get into some pretty serious funks, but I've really been trying to fight this one.  I have had my boxing gloves on.  Even though I've been feeling so low, I've been forcing myself to do things to get me back on track.  I've been feeling so alone, but yet, I haven't wanted to talk to anyone.  How's that for fucked up?  So, I made myself call my bff last week.  We aren't phone ppl, but I did it, and it felt good.  Then, this weekend, even though we really would have to live like paupers all week, I had my fam and I go to the Cubs game.  I felt like we needed something really fun to happen, since I have exactly been the greatest source of all things fun lately.  We all enjoyed it, and I worked hard at trying to take in everything, from every moment w/ the boys, to appreciating my husband for the man he is, to enjoying Wrigley Field.  Ever since I can remember, I'd wanted to go to WF.  And yesterday, this was big for me....I went and sat next to a gal at Ryne's football practice.  I just went up introduced myself and started talking.  I've seen her around, and she seems like someone I would like.  We had a great chat, at a time, when I didn't want to talk to anyone.   I felt so good about making myself do it.  So, even though the darkness wants to roll in, I've trying to kick its ass.  Now, I know that eating better would really help, so I  need to at least pull my head out of my ass enough to see the produce.  My goal for tomorrow is to eat 2 heathy meals.  I've been doing smoothies most mornings, but everything else has been a fucking disaster.  So, tomorrow I will take a baby step in c
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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