Since the virus has hit the states, I have really heard the most compassionate pleas of safety from those I work with in China. They reached out immediately with tips and an emphasis on how seriously to take all of this. Thankfully, they are starting to come out of this, and just now – some are now being allowed to travel home. Many have been stuck in Wuhan. The plants are still far from running at full capacity. This is a lot to come back from.
Two weeks ago today, a cousin (on my mom’s side) reached out to some of us with her pleas of taking the virus seriously. She had lost a cousin (from her dad’s side) that morning from the virus. Her cousin was 30 years old with no underlying conditions. So, yes, we have been taking this seriously in this house.
The boys have been out of school for two weeks (since the Gov made the decision to close them). I’ve been working from home for the past two weeks, which is a big relief. I’m so thankful to have this option. Our formal dining room, now has my full set up of laptop, two screens, etc. I enjoy working from home and feel like I am much more productive than being in the office. We still have Skype meetings, but there are much fewer meetings, and more time to get actual work done. Work itself, is incredibly stressful. I work mostly with the U.K. and China. The U.K. is hit hard right now, too, and I have some suppliers that are shut down and others are affected by their supply chains. For the most time, here in the U.S., most of my suppliers are running, although at lower capacity. I’m only aware of one that is shut down. The company I work for is deemed “essential,” but not for every product. So, we do have some employees that are not able to work during this time. I feel lucky to have a job, even in this very stressful climate. I’m confident I’ll have a job, as long as our doors are open, but of course, I have concerns about the company – just as probably most who work in manufacturing do. Every day, I remind myself how lucky I am, and for the first time in my career – I have an office with a window, and I truly appreciate being able to see people walking their dogs and other signs of normalcy in such a stressful time. Brian is still working, but he does have to go into the office. They have experimented with having them work from home, but they need the equipment that’s in their building. I hate that he works in Chicago, where the numbers are exploding, but he is often the only person in the office. So, he uses precautions in the interactions he does have, using the elevator, etc. I feel so lucky that, we as a family, are all on the same page in how seriously we approaching all of this.
Before everything broke here in the states, Cal had influenza B. He was so ill. It was truly scary. He was getting nose bleeds, so I was cleaning blood off his bedroom walls and the bathroom wall daily. During this time, I kept thinking about my colleagues in China and not being able to comprehend what some of them were going through and having to watch those you love be so sick. Now, of course, it is in the states. A friend is now on day 7 of waiting for the results of the test for her daughter, who had been so ill. It took until day 11 of being sick, for her to be able to get her tested. Thankfully, she is recovering, but their family is still separated (other kids going to stay with their father until they knew was safe). My good friend that I do WW with, has a close friend, who lost her 29 year old daughter this week to the virus. This girl had no underlying issues. It has been tearing my friend apart. I just feel for so many people during this horrible time.
I’m sorry for rambling, but I often get things out in writing. I’m not writing to cause panic or talk about politics. I’m writing to get things out that have been swimming in my head. I just truly want people to take it seriously. We have the power to stop this thing.
The last couple of years, I know I’ve changed as a person. Things happened in life, that made me put up every protective layer. For the most part, I quit doing the types of things I had done for others. I hated that I let a situation change me like that, but really, a change in that way needed to happen to some extent anyway. In recent months, I had become more open and giving of myself. With all that’s been happening in the world, my defenses are all down. I’m doing things that make my soul feel good. My hope is that I come out of this period of time, a much better person than when I went in. I hope that we all do. My soul feels good and I’m grateful.
I know this post has been quite dark, but we do have a really bright spot in our family – as my niece is expecting her first baby. This is the first baby from a niece or nephew on my side of the family. Jaynee told me on my birthday, and it was the most wonderful gift – hearing how happy she is. I’m not sure how traveling will be working but hopefully our plans for the 4th of July will still be on, and I can feel that baby bump.
I was able to have a nice, long conversation with a forever friend yesterday, and I told her I’ve been drinking more wine lately and was burned out and had to buy beer. I can’t even remember the last time I bought beer for myself. She laughed and said she was getting sick of vodka and had to buy wine. I laugh even thinking of that conversation. We are all dealing with things in our own way. I was also blessed enough to talk to my aunt Clara yesterday who had just returned home to Alaska after being out of state. She is now in a 2 week quarantine, and I died laughing when she told me about insisting she ride in the back of my uncle’s truck to get a ride home from airport. I can just picture her back there. She is just the best. I also had a skype call with another friend last night and we had our own version of happy hour. It was so fun, but also….dear God….the angle was not good from my phone. It’s a good thing I’ve come a long way in my self-image, or I might be scarred. I was actually supposed to be at a concert last night and am really just thinking of that. So far, I’ve had an event and two concerts postponed, and a canceled trip for my cousin’s wedding. I feel for my cousin as they had to make the decision to cancel the wedding, but they are still getting married – just without having everyone around. She’s truly happy and am truly delighted for her and their future.
I’m a slow typer…especially post neck issues, but I have text messages from a few friends, just as I’ve been working on this. I’m grateful for all of the love and the love I have for myself. Rejoining the land of the living was a really slow process, but I’m thankful to be present and accepting of all the good and love. My prayer is that we all feel it. My continued prayers for all of you and our good health and happiness.
I'll leave you with a song I just find so beautiful. Hope you enjoy.